


The One Where It's All A Dream

by leiascully



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Genderfuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-20
Updated: 2007-06-20
Packaged: 2017-10-03 06:20:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiascully/pseuds/leiascully
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He also knew it was a dream because he was still a woman and Cuddy was again too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where It's All A Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: falls between [The One Where There Are Three Of Them](http://leiascully.livejournal.com/495003.html) and [The One Where They're Girls and Chase Is (Relatively) Unfazed Until the Hormones Kick In](http://anamatics.livejournal.com/29370.html)  
> A/N: Part of the [genderfuck 'verse](http://community.livejournal.com/parrotfic/12922.html) created by [**thedeadparrot**](http://thedeadparrot.livejournal.com/). Bet you never thought you'd see that again. Very helpful beta work by [**sabinelagrande**](http://sabinelagrande.livejournal.com/). Honorary beta credit to sleep deprivation, an apparently caffeinated muse, and rum. If **House/Cuddy crackfic femmeslash** is not what you're looking for, you probably shouldn't read this.

It was a dream. House knew it was a dream; he knew Cuddy was sleeping beside him in the bed that smelled like the two of them and Wilson's new perfume. He also knew it was a dream because he was still a woman and Cuddy was again too. Also he was barefoot. That didn't happen very often.

"Why didn't we both switch?" he demanded of Dream Cuddy, who was standing around in fuck-me heels and a power suit, studying a clipboard full of paperwork. Dream Cuddy was just as boring and administrative as regular daytime administratrix Cuddy. He had been hoping for fur-lined cuffs or at least a bikini.

"So my secondary sex characteristics spontaneously reasserted themselves," she murmured absently, "Face it, House. I'm just more of a woman than you'll ever be."

He snorted and weighed his breasts in his hands. "These beg to differ."

She looked him over coolly, glanced down at her own, rather magnificent cleavage, raised her eyebrows eloquently, and went back to her paperwork.

"Good point," he said, with a sulky look down his shirt. He wanted to sit down. He turned around and there was a chair, his office chair, in the null space of the dream. "Nice," he said approvingly, dropping into it and arranging cane, skirt, and bra. "What are we doing here?

"It's your dream. You tell me."

He drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair. If he could imagine that into being, couldn't he swing a bikini? He thought hard at Cuddy, who frowned and twitched her shoulders as if she were being tickled, but not so much as a button on her suit popped open. House sighed.

"There are better ways to undress me," she said in a mild tone.

"Come over here."

"House," she said. "It's a dream. It's your dream. Your leg is fine. Why don't you just fuck me up against the wall like you always wanted to?"

"You are the consummate woman," he said, standing up and finding he was perfectly steady without the cane. He hopped from one foot to the other and then tried a jumping jack, almost falling over as his thighs abruptly found the limits of the skirt's stretching capability.

"Come here and consummate me then," she said, leaning back against her desk and tipping her chin up with a saucy look.

"You said wall, not desk." As he walked over to her, his thighs tingling with anticipation, the desk changed into a wall. His nipples rubbed against the fabric of his bra. Cuddy put her hands above her head and propped one high-heeled foot on the wall, studying him. As he came closer, she reached out for him and crossed her arms around his back, skinning off his t-shirt. Her mouth dipped to his breasts.

"Ah," he said as her hot little mouth moved over his chest. "You and those lips, Cuddy. Some things never change." He worked at the buttons of her jacket as she left hickies across his collarbones. She let him slide the jacket off her shoulders as she dipped her head lower over his breasts. Underneath, she was wearing a silk shell and the fabric was warm from her body. He skimmed his hands over and under it, to the silky skin that covered her ribs and brushed his fingertips over her sides to bring up gooseflesh. She murmured as her tongue caressed the curve of his breast through his bra.

"House, you're an awful tease." She unhooked his bra and touched her tongue to his nipple. "You know I'm ticklish."

"Look who's talking," he said, sucking his breath in through his teeth as she breathed over his breast. He let his hands slip to her hips and then lower, slowly rucking up the fabric of her skirt until he could get a hand under the hem. He leaned in, pressing kisses down her body, nuzzling material aside, until he had her skirt around her waist and his nose between her thighs. He breathed the same way she had a moment ago, focusing the air on her most sensitive places so that she squirmed and breathed fast, her palms pressed flat against the wall.

"God," she said, "just...." He nipped the inside of her thigh and she hissed, one hand going to his head. Her fingers tangled in his hair as he ran his tongue along the crease of her thigh.

"Why, Cuddy," he said. "No scandalous underthings? I'd be disappointed except it does save time." He slid his thumb along her folds, parting them, and dabbled his tongue where the thumb had been. She hummed and stroked his ear. He spread her with his fingers, lapping at her, pressing his fingertips lightly into her to make her sigh.

"Ho-ouse," she moaned, making his name two syllables.

"Payback for all that administrating you subjected me too." He let his lips graze her clit. "That endless wait before the payoff. It is a bitch indeed." She whimpered and he sucked briefly at her before sliding back up her body as he thrust two fingers into her. "You know, Cuddy, I love you as a man, but you are one gorgeous woman." He thrust and reached with his fingers, his thumb circling her clit, and he bent his face to her breasts. Too much silk and satin in his way: he stripped her with his free hand and she propped her hands above her head. He dropped the clothes and pinned her wrists to the wall, nuzzling at her as he finger-fucked her. He licked the hollow of her throat.

"You know the best thing about being a woman fucking a woman?"

"Mmmm?" she said, her voice rising.

"The g-spot is so easy to find," he said, and pressed against hers. She squealed, her hips bucking against his, and he shifted so her thigh was between his, rubbing in all the right ways.

"Ooooh," she said.

"We can do better than that," he said, kissing the tender place under her jaw. He twisted his fingers, rubbing at g-spot and clit, pinning her to the wall with his body so that she couldn't shake the wrong way. His breasts pressed up against hers, and he shifted so that his nipples ground against hers. She squirmed desperately against him, her thigh pressed hard into the juncture of his, but he didn't let up until she half-shouted and her muscles clenched around his fingers. Her knees gave and he let her slide gently down the wall, panting for breath. He smirked and opened his mouth, about to say something, but suddenly she was kneeling between his knees, his skirt pushed up and his underwear dragged down, and her tongue was doing things he couldn't even describe. His brain shorted out. His nipples were so hard it was painful, and without her pressed against him, the air seemed cold and blazing hot all at the same time. He leaned against the wall, gasping, trying to speak and only managing to swear. Her fingers were dancing, her mouth was everywhere at once, and his bare toes were trying curl into the floor. The pleasure was too much for his skin to contain: her tongue flickered and her fingers thrust and kneaded, and he was coming apart into organ systems, into cells, into molecules, he was turning back into the cloud of stardust from which they'd all emerged in the first place.

And, he realized, he sounded like he was about to audition for an opera. The shudders slowed and the pleasure eased, the ebb of it almost painful. He put his shoulder to the wall and slid down beside Cuddy.

"Well," she said.

"Mmmm." He lay back and dragged her on top of him, her skirt bunched up between them.

"Must have been a good dream," she said.

He blinked. Cuddy was leaning over him, her morning stubble a handsome shadow in the hollows of her cheeks. "Hmm?"

"Morning, sunshine. You were moaning in your sleep," she said. "It must have been a good dream."

He ran his hands over her flat chest and she grinned like a wolf, her cock nudging insistently against his thigh. "It was."


End file.
